Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the BigAppleSchool podcast, where the goal of this show is to help you improve your listening skills by listening to us. My name is Benjamin. I'm hosting the show today and we have three wonderful other hosts, including...
Welcome Ayoub. Welcome back. And we have...
And last but not least...
So welcome back. So, snowy day outside again.
Another podcast started with the topic of snow. Here in Siberia.
Well, it's kind of a usual talk, you know, like breaking the ice and everything. Talking about weather.
Yeah, exactly. Well, speaking of weather, actually, we do have a wonderful comment left by Natalia Smirnova, and she said, Hello, guys. I'm so glad to find your podcast on Yandex music. Now my way from the underground to my home isn't boring with your voices. Your team is the best. Hello, from St. Petersburg. Oh, that's a lovely winter greeting from Natalia Smirnova.
Yes. And it's interesting to hear someone from St. Petersburg. I'd love to go back to that city. Let us know what the winter is like in St. Petersburg. I hear it's quite windy and yeah, cold.
And gloomy. So what else is new this week? Anything interesting?
Well, I had a really great livestream this week.
Oh, you had a livestream?
I did have a livestream in our telegram channel, and it was the most fun livestream I've ever had because it was on my favourite topic: Books, reading and libraries. It was so, so, so, so great.
Oh, cool. So, were there are a lot of bookworms joining you in the conversation?
Well, you know how usually we only have ten people who can speak out of those. There were some avid readers, you know, keen readers.
That's a very good word. Avid. Excellent word. What does avid mean?
Yeah. What does that mean? It means someone who's very, very keen. Someone who loves doing something. So you can use it for any hobby, basically. Oh, cool. So the telegram channel. How do people find out about this, Katya?
So, yeah, let me actually tell a little bit more about that, because I really love when people join and speak, you know. So basically you go to our Telegram channel, which is BigaAppleSchool, and every now and then in there, there is an announcement like, Hey guys, tomorrow we have a speaking club. Absolutely free, totally for free. And usually it's one of us hosting it. We have a certain topic beforehand, you know, some points that we're going to discuss. You can prepare, you know, you can search for some vocab. And I know that... Well, we have people joining the livestreams from all over Russia. And actually we've had some people from Switzerland.
Same, same. I had Switzerland.
From other countries, actually. Yeah. And of course, sometimes it happens that... Because of the time difference and the time zone, some people are not able to attend. And actually in our private chat, in BigAppleChat, we have recordings of all the livestreams. So if you're missing, you can always just, you know, catch up by watching it. But in order to get into this chat, you need to go to BigAppleChatBot and do it, you know, through the bot.
On Telegram. Yeah. Or just do it through our channel on Telegram and... Well yeah I am, you know, an advocate for our chat because this is where we post aftershows. We post vocabulary lists every week, a lot of info. We chat there. Yeah. It's basically, you know, one huge community for learning language.
If you're learning English, you definitely need to check out this private chat and... It's also an opportunity for you to practice your writing skills.
Writing, actually, I remember I think it was Ruslan who recorded some messages. Hey there if you're listening.
Yes, he sent us some wonderful messages.
So you can practice whatever. Speaking, writing, listening. You know. Everything.
And also in the private chat, you can get access to the aftershow portion of this podcast, which is really interesting. And there you can get a vocabulary list which accompanies this podcast. So if you're learning English and you want to keep up with the words that we're saying, then you need to be part of his private chat.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry that you just asked, hey, guys, how is it going? You know, I'm like private chat, you know, just taking most of the time. I'm sorry.
No, that's okay. Cool. But what else is new? I can see you have some nails, some special nails.
Varya and I... We have beautiful nails.
It's like a little beauty routine, you know, act of self-care and self-love.
Yes. I can watch a really bad Russian movie with this dub over or an American movie with some kind of high voiced Russian.
Yeah. Actually, I have always been wondering why women do that. Like what feeling makes you do...
Because we'd like to scratch people's eyes.
No, no, no. I mean, the colours, the polish. I mean.
Well, in general, you know, it's actually good for, you know, scratching and everything is kind of nice. But in general, you know, I don't know. It's for aesthetics? Beauty?
Yeah, it's beautiful. I mean, so. But there's always like...
Yeah. And always it kind of comes in handy when you kind of washing things and then, you know, there's some sort of dry food or something. And you're just, with the nail. Comes off really...
Oh, so the polish makes the nail solid, more solid?
Much stronger. Yeah, it's really hard to break those. And if it does break and sometimes it does. It's really painful.
Oh, it's painful. What? Because it rips off your nail underneath?
Sometimes. Well, it depends on where. If it's like on the tip, it's fine. But if it's like right there at the bottom. So it's like... But I don't think we're here to discuss nails today.
Well, I'm still interested.
We've had... We've had a podcast actually called Beauty and all those procedures, so...
I don't believe I was on that podcast, but for our listeners, you should definitely check it out.
Well, you can let some guys in. I'm joking.
And you would be just sitting like, Oh my God, how long is this going to take?
It's just a whole other world for I guess Ayoub and I. Yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of nails, you said you get your nails done once a month, yeah? So it's kind of like a... Would you say it's like a ritual?
Yeah, I... Because if I wait too long, then they start breaking and then they look so bad and just make me unhappy when I have to look down at my hands and they're not finished.
And do you paint your nails for special occasions?
Funny you should mention special occasions.
Exactly. I'm trying to do a smooth transition into today's topic.
Good job. Brownie points to Benjamin for that.
So is it something cultural, doing this? Do you consider it as something cultural?
I think it's something more or less universal in the whole world, you know.
I don't think so, because, um, I was in a discussion with my fiancee and, uh, you know, in my country, they don't do it a lot. Like this.
Well because you can't really have the gel on it when you have to pray.
I don't think it's something about religion, but, uh, I mean, the social norm.
The social norm. Well, it is about religion as well, actually, because if it's just the nail polish, you can easily remove it before you pray, because technically you have to like, there should be no makeup or anything. So... Some of my students, they're like, gel is impossible because you can't just take it off. So that's why it's a no-no.
Well, for those of you who are haven't guessed. Today, we're talking about culture, ceremonies and celebrations.
So before something like a wedding, would people get their nails done?
Oh, yeah, absolutely. In... I think it's common in the US, in Russia. And I see a lot of reels from the U.S. with girls like... My boyfriend asked me to do my nails. Is he going to propose or is it just asking me to do my nails, to have my nails done, you know?
Oh, I didn't realise that was the thing. Okay. So how do people propose? How do people propose in Algeria, for instance?
It's actually a long process.
Okay. If we speak about, uh, the tradition in Algeria. Normally the man and the woman, they don't know each other. That's weird, I know. For other cultures, but, uh, like, he sees her outside, he follows her where she lives. Then it's like, you know, weird.
Sounds a little bit of a stalking.
He goes and he talks to his mom, then his mom talks to his dad. Then they agree to go and, uh, propose to the parents of the woman. Then if they come to an agreement, uh, so they become engaged, then...
What if they don't agree?
Oh, it's literally like that.
So, yeah, but, but, uh, this is something traditional where some people do it right now, but, uh, behind the shadows they know each other. They met each other at university or anywhere, so... But it is the same like, thing. So even if they know each other for years, he still needs to take his parents to the house of the woman. And he needs to propose that way.
So it's not really an arranged wedding. It's not like the parents decide who you're going to marry or not. Like, you know, we found you someone.
They do this, but it depends on the family and the city also. For example, in my city, they don't care too much about this. But I know some occasions, like some... Some really like, uh, real stuff that happened. For example, a mom goes and she chooses a woman for her son, and yeah, she makes him marry her out of respect and you know. But I don't agree with that, of course. It's really extreme.
Well, in some countries it's normal to have arranged marriages and it can be a difficult thing, but some people strangely like it. I mean. What are the benefits of an arranged marriage?
And, uh, he got married the same way. He wanted to follow this way.
My family is open-minded, but I know my uncle did it. Yeah, and his marriage, like, was very successful.
Yes, really. Yeah, like, for many years. And, uh, they fell in love after marriage.
Oh, okay. Interesting. So I guess it saves you a lot of time having to prowl the streets looking for a match.
But things are changing nowadays, especially in big cities. So people, they are not following such things like more often now, but in some villages they do it. So now it's became like regular for other people. They meet a girl and they say okay you talk to your parents about me, you know... The thing.
Yeah. So yeah. Different country... Well I guess Russia and in the West have the same kind of proposal system, where the man gets on their knee and says, Oh. Or sometimes the woman. It could be the other way round, I guess.
Did you get on one knee, Benjamin, when you were proposing?
You've never actually told us the story.
No, it was a very modest proposal. It was very nice, but it was just... Yeah, it wasn't like you see on YouTube where someone orders a whole stadium and...
Oh, well, I mean, it's... A bit to show off, you know, something like that.
Yeah. It would be too much... Personally for me that would be too much if, um... Well, let's say if I were a woman, I'd be... I would just be overwhelmed by that. If you had a whole stadium of people say, kiss, kiss, kiss, it would be too much.
Oh, skywriting. Have you ever seen an aeroplane towing some kind of sign or something?
Don't get me started with aeroplanes, Varya.
That's a dangerous thing to mention. Aeroplanes. I've never seen that in real life. I've only seen that, you know, in movies.
Right, yes, I haven't seen it.
I have seen it actually, in my country one day.
Normally it's out of our league, but...
Somebody did it actually. I saw it...
Did they do the writing with the smoke or with the...?
No, it, uh, like something attached. Like a poster.
Yeah. Paradox. I would think that Arabic would be difficult to write.
It was in French. Actually, it was in French.
Oh, cool. Yeah, Nice. So, yeah, quite expensive, I guess. I wonder how much it costs to hire a plane to do the deal for you.
You know, in general a wedding can be really expensive. I... well of course it depends on everyone because some people go for, you know, quite, quite modest wedding, you know, not big ceremony, something like that. Keep it simple. But I remember seeing, you know, some videos on Instagram and like YouTube about wedding preparation in the US, and they were asking questions like, how much do you think the wedding dress is? And all the guys are like 200, 300, 500. And the girl was like 7000, 5000, 6000 sometimes. Yeah.
It's a tradition. At least before that, the bride's family has to pay for the wedding so that it could be very expensive.
What is also different, I guess, about the proposal in the US and in Russia. In Russia, okay, like usually people get on one knee, you know, like whatever. But I was shocked to find out that it is and, you know, unwritten rule that the proposal ring should cost at least double salary so that in case something goes wrong, the girl can actually sell it on, you know.
So it's like an emergency?
So it's like an insurance.
Oh, no, no. You need to return the engagement...
No, no. Nowadays, I think. No, no. So because now, well, at least in the last like five years, because I was talking a lot about weddings. No. So the engagement ring is expected to be worth at least a double salary. And the girl keeps it should anything go wrong.
Really? Well, good investment.
So a lot of people when they get this engagement ring they make a copy like a fake copy and they keep the real one in a safe in some sort of a deposit box. And the fake one they wear on a regular basis. Because if you lose your, you know, investment or insurance it's going to be, you know, a bummer.
What do you think about this?
I know a lot of people who would just go to the justice of the peace just get married legally. That said, maybe a little party.
Yeah. We both lived in Vegas, so we know.
Cause an Elvis in person.
Yeah. So, I mean, I have nothing against people spending a lot of money for weddings. They're just not my cup of tea, personally.
Yeah, I had a quite a modest wedding.
I don't see the point of that, you know, because sometimes people spend millions, I mean, of rubles and thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on it. Whereas they could have gone on a nice honeymoon, you know, on a vacation together.
It's this idea of the little girl's dream. And she's dreams about her wedding day her whole life.
Yeah. Also, some people say, well, you know, it used to be said like, oh, it's a once in a lifetime thing, but not anymore. Nowadays it's not really a once in a lifetime thing because sometimes...
I don't even think that in America so much now, that wedding is so strong. A strong tradition as before.
Yeah, it's kinda changed.
Especially in like sixties. The hippies, you know, you live together before you get married, or you just shack up and you never get married. I just don't see marriage as... As important as it once was.
So how many weddings have you been to in your life?
Well, if you listen to the aftershow portion, we will discuss our experiences with the.. With our with weddings. So definitely check that out in the aftershow for sure. But what about bachelor parties and hen parties? I can't imagine... In Algeria do people have bachelor parties?
No, we don't have. But like, we don't call it the bachelor party, but it's something like optional that not many people do it.
So normally bachelor parties where friends, you know, guys and or girls, they meet each other and they spend, like, joyful night all together. But, uh, yeah, some people do it, but not in the sense of a bachelor party. Just, you know, congratulating and...
It can also be called a stag party.
Exactly. I was just going to mention. Great vocabulary for our listeners. So for men, it's the stag do.
Yeah, it's like a male antelope or a male deer.
So, yes, stag is a deer, or it can also be a male animal, but it mainly means a male deer. Yes. And do is d-o. I...
A female deer. It's doe. Do re mi fa so la si.
Doe. That's it. Doe. A deer. A female deer.
Oh, excuse me. I thought you were talking about, um, because in England we say a stag do for the party.
Oh, excuse me. I thought you were talking about a female deer.
What a funny confusion. You're right. You're absolutely right. I thought you said in America they call it a stag doe.
Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Stag, though.
Yeah, in England. Well, I guess in America, too. Would you say a stag do?
Okay, this is very British. So from men it's a stag do and for women we call it...
Oh, no. We don't call it a hen party.
Bachelorette. And that's all that I've heard of. Yeah.
Which is... I have some questions about that. Whenever I was telling my students about that, they're like, wait a second. So for men is like stag, you know, noble animal, and for us it's like... Wait, this is unfair.
But yeah, at least in England, stag dos are very messy.
I have a question about that. I heard that a lot of people for a stag party, they go to some little towns like not Cambridge probably, but some other towns or to places like Slovakia, Serbia.
Yes. Usually the Brits love to attack Europe on their stag dos or hen dos as well. So a variety of cities are included in stag do destinations, including Slovakia. So, Bratislava, Budapest, maybe even Romania or Amsterdam. They people love to go to these destinations where you can consume as much alcohol as possible and...
For as cheap as possible as well.
Unfortunately, yes, because it is very cheap. I've been to Bratislava and beer is extremely cheap. There you can get a nice pint for €1 easily, whereas in London...
It's insane. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. But the Brits, as I've mentioned in previous podcasts, have a not very good reputation in Europe. We do...
What's the word for that? Notorious.
Notorious. Exactly. We are notoriously animalistic, let's say, in our foreign adventures. But yeah, so every town, well, especially in Spain, gets absolutely destroyed by the Brits on stag dos and hen dos and yeah, people don't behave themselves too well.
And should it be like this?
It's almost... I mean, I didn't do it. I mean, maybe it would have been fun, but at the same time, like, I don't like getting hangovers, so it'd be terrible to be hungover for your wedding or some people do it and...
Oh, so you're saying it like, right the night before? Cause sometimes it is the exactly the night before, and sometimes it's a little bit before the night.
Yeah, I don't understand.
I think it's a little bit illlogical, you know, to have it the night before.
Like, why? You have other things to worry about, you know.
They do that, though. Well, the guys don't have anything to worry about. They just have a little...
Hangovers are rotten. Well, depends on who you are, but...
If that's the only thing they have to worry about.
Yeah, but yeah, it's.. cause the girls have to wake up at 5 a.m. to have then, you know, makeup done, hair done, the dress you know and all that.
They have to wake up with the guilt thinking, have I seen a stripper or something bad like that. So it's...
Is there anything on YouTube that might compromise my wedding?
Exactly. So yeah. Stag dos unfortunately for a lot of couples, people are adulterous on the stag dos and they go to strip clubs and and solicit all types of naughty activities. So yeah, um, usually the wife or the fiancee does not want to know what...
Was happening on the stag do.
I think, like, stag party should have the same rule as in Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens at a bachelor party, stays at bachelor party.
Yes, that is a a golden rule.
But don't you consider that as a sort of cheating?
Of course. Yeah. Yeah, of course it is cheating. Yeah, but a lot of people think. Come on, a lot of people... bend the rules.
It's like the transition from their young years and youth to the marriage and like a wedding life.
Well, even when they call it the... The ball and chain, it's the way they're looking at marriage like it's some kind of trap. For life. So they would celebrate the life before the trap.
So I'm going to get shut forever. Now I have to do something about this. Before going to the...
Yeah. Well, for our listeners, behave on your stag do. Don't take pictures. God, don't. Don't do that. If you dare to have a stag or a hen do and it goes the other way around hen dos, people can be adulterous. They go to see hunky men.
It's amazing how in Russia, you know, most of the time. So some of my friends are people I know when they were having a hen party, you said don't take pictures. They did it. You know, they did a hen party with a photographer, you know, like they usually had some sort of movie night, champagne night, pyjamas, you know, like all this fun and so on. So specifically hire a photographer for that to have, like, nice pictures before the wedding, you know, with girls night. Yeah, I kind of, you know, sounds fun.
Well, so enjoy your stag do if you're going to have one.
I wanted to speak about something actually, about, uh, the expenses of, uh, weddings in my country.
Since you spoke about, uh, you know, engagement.
Yeah go for it. Yeah, sure.
So, uh, in my country. In my country, when they accept... Uh, like that's the girl and, uh, the boy gets married. They ask for gold. A lot of gold. The parents even indicate the price of the gold.
It's like, yeah, give me money.
It is something cultural. But, uh, for me, as, uh, like an individual person, I have always been thinking about it in a different way. It's like, uh, they are selling their daughter or something. Yeah, but for them, it's not. It's just like respect. And they're showing love like this. But showing love through material things, I think. I don't think it's...
Yeah, it sounds like a business deal.
And they ask if he has a good job and, uh, like, they make this conditions.
Exactly. Does he have a car, like, apartment?
To see if he's worth anything.
They pay, you can say around, uh... 1 million rubles like this. Like if we... Yeah, I swear. Like it's the family helps. Everybody helps. Like it's, uh, friends help. But this is like, we speak about the tradition. That's why people are now, since they know, like, there are economical problems and, uh, it started sounding stupid, but actually, it's not religious. In religion the man, uh, can give anything to her. A book can be like, uh, something normal. But, uh, the culture, the Arab culture emerged with, uh, such things, which is something like, bad for me to be honest with you. Uh, so now people are... In like the middle of this transition from the old habits to the new world.
But it's a lot of money, believe me. Like. Yeah, most of people are going...
But there gotta be some kind of proof that the guy is worth something because there's so many bad marriages where the woman... I mean, I've seen these, like, crime shows, right. The women being murdered because they're really successful. And then this guy is just kind of like, stay home, don't do anything. It's like, oh, you shouldn't have married him. You know, she's, you know... Three kids later.
Yeah, but yeah, this is something normal. Like, uh, he needs to have a job, you know, He needs to be, like, reliable for his family, but to ask for more than average, that's actually, like, something crazy.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've got a word that's useful for a lot of our listeners, and that is Gold Digger.
I thought it's different though.
It's kind of someone who's looking to get into a relationship for...
But must be where it comes from... Some tradition exchanging gold.
So, yeah, someone who gets into a relationship looking for financial gain.
It's like a young woman marrying like an 80 year old man, something like that. Which is obviously she's a gold digger.
To get his inheritance. Or the other way around?
A young man marrying an old lady, a widow.
Well, I guess. Yeah, I guess it could go both ways. I mean, typically it is for women, but it could, I guess, go both ways because you do have men looking for...
But they're called something else not a gold digger, what are they called? Something else. If the man... Oh, what is it called? The man is gold digging is called something else.
Gold seller. Yeah. Well, do you have the word gold digger in Russian? Is it the same? Do you say gold digger?
No, we don't say gold digger. I only know the word for men, actually, in Russian, because it's альфонс.
Oh, альфонс. Like Alfonso. Like a name?
So this is like a male gold digger. But for girls... I don't really... I can't remember any.
I wonder about the origin of the name Alfonse and how that became...
That's a good one. We'll check it out after the podcast, I guess.
Yeah, sure. Well, let's come to the ceremony itself. So different cultures, of course, have different ceremonies. I believe in India the ceremony can last a few days, even. Maybe even a week. I've never been to an Indian wedding, but I believe my parents have. But it's a long event, and usually a whole entire village will come to the event. What about... In Algeria? Usually there's like a whole village come to a wedding? Or is it a more private affair?
Well, you know, I come from a family that has, uh, two different ethnicities.
Like, my mom is Arab, but my father is Amazir, which is a different...
Part of, you know, Algeria. Like, they are the natives of Algeria, as I mentioned in the previous podcasts. Uh, so in that region of the Amazir make the whole village should attend. The whole village and they need to feed them, you know, everything. For two days. For two days.
So first you pay the family of the bride...
And I have seen something similar in Turkey, actually. But in Turkey, it's something different. It's something actually cultural and everybody should do it, right. But in my country now, uh, they became a little bit selective. For example, only close relatives come, you know, some friends. But in villages yeah, the whole village should come. And they do like really crazy stuff.
Sometimes you think of them like riots, you know?
Oh, yeah. Well, in America, it's just such a big, like, variety of different weddings. Because of the origin of the States. It's just so many different cultures.
I just don't think it's like a big deal. Although you've seen these reality TV shows, you know, following the Bridezilla, how monstrous she becomes.
The Bridezilla. Well, I know in the Jewish tradition, usually the guy steps on a glass of wine, but usually I believe it's without wine. I need to double check that. But they put a cloth over the glass and stomp on it.
Yeah. And then someone is carried on a chair. Of everyone's head. I don't know which one that is.
Yeah. So Russia has quite a few special, let's say, um. Points to their weddings.
Yeah. I mean, it used to be two days. The first day, you know, somewhere in a restaurant or something. And the second day at somebody's house, you know, either the bride's or the groom's. Nowadays is just as various, you know, it's varied as in the US, I would say. Some people do not have, you know, a wedding ceremony. Some people, you know, it's just two people going to the registry office or whatever you call it.
We call it the Justice of the peace and you call it the registry office.
Yeah. Well, because it's not... Justice and peace?
The Justice of the peace. It's just a government agency that takes care of weddings and other things. It maybe registers other things.
So they take care of death certificates, birth certificates?
Death certificate, birth certificate, change of last name, change your name. Well, although I'm not sure... Anywho. So, yeah, it's different. Normally, you know, um, some people would have some ceremony at the register office, and then they would go around the city, you know, to have a photo shoot or something. And then they would have some sort of celebration in a restaurant. But again, it's all different now because I see more and more people just are up for having a travel, you know, and travelling together instead of spending hell of a lot of money on some sort of a celebration.
And there are those who get married in the church. The East Orthodox Church.
Yep. Yeah. Well, usually these two go together. So the thing is that you cannot just get married in a church without the registry office.
Yeah, it's not technically a legal marriage.
You still have to, like, sign the papers and everything. But yeah, there are some people who have ceremonies at the church. Not as many now though, but..
It looks sort of like a solemn ceremony with the church.
Yeah. So not many people do it nowadays, to be honest.
Yeah. Like in America, if you want to get married in a church, of course you have to have the legal documents as well. But in the Catholic Church or a Christian church, some churches don't allow singing and dancing. So your reception is going to be rather diminished in that way.
Whereas I guess the more evangelical churches is. You can sing and...
Well, yeah, it just depends, because I went to a reception where we can't sing, we can't dance. Oh, okay. What would we do if we can't sing..?
Same in my country. You cannot, uh. You cannot get married religiously if, uh, you don't get married from the state. So, uh, and also we have this, like, we don't get married.
So the state happens first and then the mosque?
Should be legalised and everything because it's something dangerous for the woman. Why? Because this way, like if they are married just religiously, there is no documents. That can protect the woman or even the man. Even for the children, you know, they don't have any record.
So, uh, and we don't actually, uh, we don't perform the wedding in the mosque, but we hire... We hire like we rent, uh, a wedding saloon, wedding hall. Also, we have wedding halls and saloons. And you say how many nights you want to be there. You hire a cook and some stuff to help you there. And, uh, they put music, they dance, you know, they.. So, and the photo shooting happens while the ceremony is, uh, still on. So you can also hire a photographer. Yeah.
Wait, you said that the religion doesn't record the actual marriage then?
Okay, so in the Catholic Church, the Catholic Church is known for big, great, fantastic record keeping. And so... Centuries and centuries of who got married, how many babies, baptisms on and on. Yeah.
So it's related to the states... You mean like if they keep this or they do this by themselves.
All over the world the Catholic Church keeps records. Yes. Births, deaths, marriages.
So you can go back however long you want. You'll see someone's name.
For us, how it goes. For example, if I want to get married religiously, I need at least five witnesses and who are from both families and friends, for example...
That's quite difficult to get, no?
No, no, that's actually...
Yeah, we have this social stuff there. So, for example, uh, it is something very restricted. Those people should be a bit religious. Uh, like they don't lie, for example, I bear witness that those people got married and, uh, so on. But now the government did something because many accidents happened where a man, for example, leaves a woman when she gets pregnant and leaves her with her son and she cannot sue him or something because there is no record from the state about this. So now the government did something, it's restricted this. And they said, you want to get married first, you do this with real documents, then you go to the mosque and, uh, you know. Announce your marriage.
Yeah. Well, when you bear witness, because in the West, like, people swear, as you probably know, people swear on the Bible. Do they do the same thing like we have the Qoran and then swear on it, or is it different process?
Actually, uh, for educated people, it's forbidden to do it.
But, uh, some people do it, actually. They want to...
Qoran and the, uh... But so that's actually forbidden in Qoran. You shouldn't do it.
I thought that would be a different thing. Yeah, I don't think. I mean, I'm actually not entirely sure, but I don't think Jews do it either.
Well, in America, if you're talking about, like, going to court, it used to be that the witness would put their hand on the Bible. Do you swear by the Bible to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God. And they do that. But nowadays, there would be no way that would happen now.
Yeah. Well, coming back to weddings, you've mentioned travelling around the world. Would people do that instead of having a big party? Would you classify that as a honeymoon?
Yeah, Yeah. It's like a combination of honeymoon and... Well, actually, sometime people get married in another country, they first go to the register's office here, just sign the paper with nobody present, and then they go to another country to have a wedding over there. What do you call this person who asks, you know, this question like, do you agree to marry this person?
I think it's the officiator.
The officiator. So they have some sort of officiator in another country and so on. That's how my student got married in Italy.
And I love it that... Well, maybe not love it, but it's interesting how in the U.S. anybody can be an officiator.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. You do little something online and get that. Yes, yes, yes.
Because a friend of mine was getting married in the U.S. and her friend got this license of an officiator. She was the one. So that's interesting.
So honeymoon is... Are there things in Algeria? Do people go on a honeymoon?
It is still something optional, actually. It depends on the couple. And, uh, if they agree on this. Yeah. Yeah, but usually, like, uh, traditionally speaking, they just go home and that's it. And they start their life. Yeah, they start travelling a bit, but not for one month.
They just have a lot of food and chill out.
Yeah. Cool. Well, honeymoons are a big, big deal in the West, I guess. I mean, I didn't have a honeymoon. I, I had a pre...
Didn't you go to Chechnya?
I had a...It's called a pre-moon.
So it's a Chechnya which was a... And Dagestan which was quite a funny, um, pre-moon let's call it. It was actually a really fun little holiday so.
It was nice for us. Anyway, let's move on to birthdays. So it was my birthday recently a few days ago. I'm a Capricorn. When are your birthdays? Which month?
Oh, so very soon. Very soon. So are you going to do anything or you want to...? I'm a more modest person. I like to have like a quiet event. Or do you...?
Same. I like... I don't pay attention to my birthday, actually, as I'm growing older. But, uh, you know, we, we as humans, we like for me, for example, and I spoke to my students about this, actually. His name is Michael. And, uh. He said it's like he had a birthday just last week, last Friday and before that he was saying, you know, I don't like to celebrate my birthday like it's just a day, you know. And we have the same idea. But when his birthday came, he was happy of what his girlfriend did for him, you know?
Oh, did she give him a really big birthday?
Yeah, Big Birthday. Yes. For me, it is the same. For me, the same. I always say this like every year I say, okay, I don't want to celebrate, but when it happens, you feel that joy and you know.
Yeah, that's it. But as I said, it's also like, I like it to be a quiet thing. Like I can go to a restaurant. For example now I am with my fiancee can go to a romantic restaurant, for example. Just celebrating quietly. Not that way of, you know, like a rampage or something.
I mean, I'm not criticising people for having big birthday parties because, yeah, you have to do what you like to do.What you like doing.
Yeah, exactly. If you like big birthday parties, good for you. It's they can be really funny sometimes and have a laugh. But if someone planned one of those big surprise things like where everyone hides in your house.
Yeah, I remember you hate surprises, Benjamin hates surprises.
Yeah, I've only seen that on sitcoms or something. I've never known anyone to really give a...
Yeah, I think it's just...
Actually, I prepared the birthday like this for my friend in, uh, she was Russian. Uh, like we prepared. Like I agreed with my colleagues. And, uh, like, she was working, and we ask our boss that... Please, can you at least two of us today don't work so we can prepare things for her? He said, yes, okay, go. Go ahead and we told him, Please make her take our classes so that, uh, she keeps busy with them, like she comes late at home around nine. He said, Okay. So she had a terrible day because she worked all day. Yeah. And we were like, preparing. It was my idea. And, uh, we, like, prepared everything. Then when she came tired, she wants to open her room and an explosion of people, like.
And she was happy after. Yeah, well, that's funny. It was something memorable.
Well, do any of you watch that show or have any of you watched that show Sweet 16 in, on MTV? What is that about? Do you know?
I.. No. I don't remember. You know, like seeing a glimpse of it when I was younger because we had MTV is one of only five channels that we had, but wait... Before we moved to Sweet 16. Varya, when is your birthday?
So, January, February, April, November. Okay. So yes, Sweet 16.
We have a... As a cliche like Sweet 16, that's supposed to be this special, special year. And if you think about your sweet 16th birthday, I mean, was it really that special? Sometimes it like passes without being really special, like in the movies or something.
I don't even remember it too to be honest.
It was for girls. Sorry, I didn't mean to look at you. It was really for girls. Sweet 16, not for boys. I was looking at you. I should have looked over here. Sweet 16.
My 16th birthday was... Well, I mean, it was in April, and that was the same year that I was graduating school because I was... So I was more thinking about, like exams that were coming in a month, you know, getting into university and so on. So I didn't think, what did I do? I must have done something, you know. But it's not really memorable because it was the year I've graduated.
My 16th birthday passed. It was unremarkable and I was disappointed. I thought something was going to... Something great was going to happen on my 16th birthday.
For Russians, you know, it's actually like 16 is not that big of a deal. Cause like 16, okay.
I remember I think it was on my 16th or 17th birthday. I mean, I still look like a baby. And I went to the pub dressed in a suit pretending to be a worker. I said, Yeah, can I get a pint? It's my 18th birthday. I had a fake ID and they looked and they said, Just get out of here, get out. So that was my 16th, but luckily I found some beer somewhere.
So 16. Well, but in some... So in Russia, I'd say the biggest... The bigger day is like 18 because this is the age when you come of age.
But you still have a big 18th birthday because you can...
Yeah, 18 because we graduated or you're graduating that year.
You are officially an adult aren't you, when you're a minor adult. What is it called?
After you get out of high school and then you're 18, then you are considered...
But you have some legal rights when you're 18. Like you can buy a gun.
I love it how you can drive when you're 16, you can buy a gun when you're 18, you can get married when you're 16, but you can only drink alcohol when you're 21.
Yes, but, you know what, I think you can get a gun before you're 18. You don't have to be 18, I think. Oh, there are boys like six years old and 12 years old going out, shooting with their dad.
I think you can have a weapon in America if you are under supervision.
Well, I remember...Can't remember it... was George Bush or something. He said, I've had enough of people complaining about drinking at 21 and being in the army at 18.
I believe under his administration they made it legal for soldiers to drink at 18 on military bases.
Yeah, they had, you know, what are those... Vending machines? You can put a coin in and get your...
Of course. Yeah. Because you were a marine. Yeah. So. Oh, so you had a vending machine...?
Vending machine of alcohol. And I guess it's mostly beer, I would think.
Vending machine. I remember that being in the rec room or whatever they called it, where everyone comes into play pool or something on base and... Put a coin in.
Like a beer dispenser, you know.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, is there like a specific birthday age that's really important in Algeria?
18 as well? But people don't really drink in Algeria, so it's not like the same..
There are some people who drink. Yeah, but not publicly. That's the thing. But no, they just, uh, have some special food, you know, such things, because it's, uh, forbidden for people to drink in my country. But it's legal... Forbidden but legal.
So what... You mean like, on a religious level?
But, uh, if you speak about our Constitution and everything, so... We still have some, uh, places where they serve such things. So, yeah, we have bars, uh, in some places, but they are really, really restricted.
Do you need to have like an alcohol license too? Because I know in Dubai and Abu Dhabi you need to have an alcohol license to... Not to drink in the hotel bars, but to go to an official shop to buy alcohol. Do you need to do the same in Algeria?
They have to go to an official shop. Cannot find the... For example, here in Russia, when I go to any supermarket, you can find alcohol, but not in Algeria. We have... For example, uh, as far as I saw, like with, with my eyes, I have seen three alcohol shops hidden. In my entire city. And my my city is, uh, the second biggest city in Algeria.
Oh, that reminds me, then. Called Dry Sunday in the south, it has been always your... It was illegal to purchase alcohol on Sundays, and it would not be for sale. So they're might be in line with their bottle of something. It's Sunday. You can't buy that.
I think cause it's a service like, you know, the church services on Sunday.
Right. Because you're supposed to be in church, not out there drinking. Right. So then there's this kind of amendment or something, you know? You know, do you want to get rid of this law? And I can't remember what ever happened with it, but it is legal to order alcohol in a restaurant or a bar. So, you know, it's contradictory.
Well, speaking of rituals and ceremonies and culture, I guess the... So the law came from religion.
Yes. In the south. Right.
In the South. Yeah. So I know Utah, for instance. They have very... Well, they've relaxed more recently, but they had a very strict alcohol legislation.
So. Yeah. All right, guys. Will definitely stick by to the aftershow. Well...
I wanted to say one more thing about the age. It's not about any of the country that we live in or we're from. But you were born in Brazil? Yeah. Actually, Brazil is one of the countries, including some other Latin American countries, like Argentina, Uruguay, Mexico, you name it. Basically, the whole of Latin America. For them is really special for a girl to celebrate her 15th birthday. Quinceañera.
So it comes... It's just so... because I started learning...
Cause they can get married, then.
Yeah, they can get married.
Yes. I started learning Spanish some time ago. And obviously, you know, one part of learning a language is learning about the culture of the countries that speak that language. So and I've I had heard about that, you know, from different American TV shows or something. So this Quinceañera, which is 15th birthday. And I was like, where does it come from? Apparently it dates back to the times of Aztecs and Maya Indians because in there when a girl turned 15, she was turning into a woman and could officially get married.
It's the same with the Jewish tradition.
And it's as big as.. One of those birthday parties is as big as a wedding because... My daughter had a girlfriend who...she had to help get her, like her dress. A special dress, special shoes. She went on a diet to get thin.
Yeah, well, yeah, like us in the Jewish tradition is we have bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs. And the bat mitzvah was for girls at 12. So coming of age. Yeah. Yeah. Boys is 13.
So. Yeah. Well, do you have a similar thing, like a coming of age ceremony in Islam, or...?
We have, uh, the age of actually seven weeks.
Oh seven weeks. Okay, So, like, so...
After seven weeks, the child should be baptised. Something like this, uh, and they just take him like, uh, like we invite people and it's like kind of charity. You need to do some charity for people like you... You give food to poor people, you know, uh, and you do it by the name of God. Yeah. And also to bless your child. But after seven, seven, uh, seven week, and also we have circumcision.
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah. And then Jewish. So in Judaism, they have a funny ceremony where it's actually really funny..
Yeah, mohel or a bris as well. And it's a really funny ceremony. I believe that the kid has to be eight days old.
Actually religiously speaking. He should be. Yeah. Around eight days and seven days. But, but uh, for example, I was circumcised when I was five.
And some people for example, if someone was from a different religion and is inverted to Islam. Yeah. Even if he is like 30, he should do it.
Yes. I had a.. I have a muslim friend from London and he did it when he was 14. And I thought, Oh, God bless you. That's painful. But yeah, so in Judaism is this funny ceremony for it where you, the whole family watches the poor baby and they have... They give the baby a bit of wine, I think.
It's a funny tradition. Yeah, I know this is strange, but it. Yeah.
Well, talking about birthdays, there's one thing that surprised me about American birthdays, I'd say, because in Russia, if somebody invites you to a birthday, it's a no-no to show up without a gift.
Oh, definitely. Oh, my goodness.
But I remember, let's say a friend of mine, she was like, Oh, it's my birthday party. You know, I invite everyone to the bar and... Born and raised American. So the only people who showed up with the present were only Russians. And everyone else was like, I'll buy you a drink. I'll buy you a drink. She's like, this is okay now. You know, you don't have to bring gifts. Just come
Yeah, things have changed like I'm sure. I'm sure or people donate to a charity for ...
This is one more thing. Which is like I don't need I don't really need to... Just come, you know, you can buy me a drink or something like that. And all us like three Russians, like we can't show up at a birthday party without a present. That's no, that's a no-no.
Fair enough. Yeah. So, do you like getting a lot of presence on your birthday?
Me? No, actually, I like something that can give you, like, an emotional value. Not materialistic stuff. Like, we can all, like, buy something, you know, that we want, but, uh, something that is memorable that you can keep with you forever, you know? Yeah. A book, for example, would be something wonderful for me, for example.
Keep it in mind, his birthday is coming up.
Yeah, exactly. A few days down the road.
I feel like I made a mistake by saying.
No, no, no. You did exactly the right thing.
Yeah, well, guys, let us know what you think. Let us know about your local traditions. Especially if you're from Russia, which has many different nationalities and cultures. So let us know. So I'm interested in hearing if you're from, for instance, Tatarstan or Yakutia, like Katya.
No special birthday things and Yakutia. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, let us know nonetheless, your special traditions and definitely check out our website, which is www.BigAppleSchool.com where you can get access to loads of other interesting podcasts, videos, articles, and you can find more information about the courses that we offer here at the BigAppleSchool. So see you guys in the aftershow and we'll see you next time.
Катерина Рудых
