Hey there and welcome to the BigAppleSchool podcast. My name is Sam.
And today we’re asking what’s the craic about a Zombie Apocalypse. Michael, may I eat your brains?
Oh no no, please. Don’t eat them.
We will find out what a zombie apocalypse is and what kinda things we read and watched about it, what we think of them. Our strategy or strategies. Whether we have plans in advance for this. What kind of skills we may have that could be useful, we need to know – you need to know, right?
Let’s plan, let’s find out what we would do in a tricky situation with zombies there – what will we do with that? Where would we go? How would we travel? What plans et cetera. What the future might be like in a zombie apocalypse. Let’s…
That’s the craic for today.
That’s the craic. It’s great to hear a Nigerian guy using a wonderful Irish phrase, what’s the craic.
So we’re already cracking it.
What’s the craic mate? Listen mate, listen mate.
Hey man, take it easy, we’re talking about zombies right here, yeah.
Not for there. What is a zombie apocalypse?
Yeah well, for me it is a reality of what you’ve seen in the films.
It’s a reality of what you’ve seen in films, yeah…
Zombie apocalypse meaning the end of the world…
What do zombies traditionally want?
Yeah they want you to become a zombie too.
They want your brains. They want your brains. There is a meme going about that we already have a zombie apocalypse. Because we’re all walking around with our phones. I wouldn’t be that harsh, but…
To call it a zombie apocalypse?
But sometimes it feels that way, yeah.
Have you ever read or watched anything about zombie apocalypse?
yeah well really, I ‘m not that person who would like...
I’m not a zombie guy, definitely. I do believe that our life is consisting of the good and the bad only and stuff like that. Actually I do believe that mysterious things exist. There’s mystery, there’s whatever which…
Stuff out there, unexplained?
Zombies? Do you think there could be zombies?
Zombies.. Not exactly zombies like they’ve been portrayed, but something mysterious. Yeah something mysterious is definitely out there. So that’s why I wouldn’t read any stuff or whatever about..
I wouldn’t say I’ve read a lot, although I am considering reading a walking dead a comics, but I wouldn’t say I’ve read a lot. I’ve watched quite a few things. I like horror, although I’m a little bit picky because I don’t like a lot of gore, I don’t like slushy films.
But occasionally I like a little bit of horror to get me a little bit.. it’s the drama, people getting scared, what they do in these situations. I’ve started to watch the Walking dead - it’s very very popular. But for me, I don’t know, I didn’t enjoy it. It’s a complex…
Yeah yeah yeah, you don’t like it.
I didn’t like it. Zombieland I thought was okay. It’s a 2009 film. Shown of the dead was possibly one of my favorites, 2004. It’s a British one. It’s quite funny.
I think Simon Pegg in particular is very talented. And those who acted with him as well – sorry I forgot their names. But I think they were all very good.
So you mean it was quite nice that means it wasn’t so scary, yeah? Not too much of zombies there.
A little bit gory, a little bit scary, but comedian. It’s probably more comedian than anything I would say. ‘Train to Busan’, which is a Korean film, which is quite good. If you’re interested in zombie film, I would recommend if you haven’t heard of it.
‘Train to Busan’, 2016. ‘A world war Z’ – didn’t get a lot of praise and I think they had production problems and stuff, but I quite enjoyed it. At the end there’s a bit of a drama, I’m not spoiling, but I enjoyed that a lot. I liked it.
The ending was unpredictable, unpredictable.
Not so much unpredictable, but it was quite dramatic. There was a dramatic element to it, theatrical almost elements. And I… Well, dramatic anyway. And I enjoyed that. I think I just overall enjoyed the film, although many people not so much, But I liked it. I re-watched it once or twice.
Anything that has to do with Apocalypse has to be probably a natural disaster, but with zombies – oh my god, I wouldn’t have definitely paid to go to the cinema to watch that. I like beautiful pictures, you know.
You don’t wanna see blood and guts and brains?
But I watched like… action films in all that blood and this tough guy killing everybody and stuff. Yeah, I watched that too. I just don’t like it. But when it comes to zombies, I don’t know – out of the worlds for me. Even though I believe in mysterious and underground wall but yeah, zombies are a little bit…
Yeah yeah yeah. So, I mean, if we’re talking about zombie apocalypse, so what will be your strategy? To fight or to fly?
Okay so fight or fly. To explain, just in case, if you haven’t heard this term, fight, of course, is to stand and attack the zombies, or, you know, attack them if you see them, whereas flight is to completely run away from them. I would choose the flight.
Just like me, just like me.
I would choose flight strategy.
Unless, I mean, unless there’s a situation when you need to protect someone or rescue someone, or where you have just too many… I think, forgive me, it may be sort of a guerilla strategy… you would be, I suppose, overwhelmed by the amount.
and if you start going like ‘let’s kill them all’, you’re gonna get trapped, so I would pick off two or three at a time and hopefully with another group, not just on your own. Maybe I would argue that a little bit of flight and a little bit of fight. Mostly flight, but a bit wee of fight.
I mean, my question… maybe just the flight, yeah. Absolutely. With every power I’ve got, every resources I’ve got, because they’re scary to death if they’re gonna happen really.
You don’t even like watching them in a film.
So you can imagine what’s gonna happen if I see them in real, I’m just gonna disappear, definitely. Not to fight but to disappear. In that case I might use some African voodoo. So that could make me disappear. I mean I can do search or research or, you know… I don’t know. I’m gonna get dead.
That’s why I haven’t seen you for a little while. What about bunkers?
I think it’s a good idea.
It would be for safety, you can put supplies in there. I mean, I was kinda surprised a few years ago, ten years ago actually. Some of my friends started talking – what would you do in a zombie apocalypse?
I know they were kinda joking of course, but some people generally planned for this idea. And I mean, maybe we should have a bunker. And if there’s not a zombie apocalypse we could use for something else. Have you ever planned? Do you have anything?
I’ve planned, I thought about it before, several times. I keep thinking about it. But it’s something I think about every time. Not just like a case of zombie apocalypse, I think about like maybe a war. Yeah, definitely.
A real war would be a zombie war.
Yeah definitely, yeah sure. That’s what I mean. I think about a real war and I think that a bunker would be a good idea. But the more I think, the more my brain just breaks down, because you know… Okay, I might be able to get all the food and whatever, some medical stuff. What about water?
Yeah, well, that’s the trick. I think to maintain a bunker would take a lot of time and effort. And who knows if it’s gonna pay off.
I think it’s almost like impossible. What if…
You need to either have like a running water supply, and a good supply, a spring or something.
Yeah yeah yeah, so that means your only option is to find a bunker in a cave deep inside of somewhere. That is the only option you’ve got.
The question could be getting to that bunker.
If zombie apocalypse happens and you’re not at home or you maybe are at home and your bunker is far from home. How do you get to the bunker?
Sure, that’s a challenge, yeah. And you need to fight, you know.
So that’s what we’re thinking about today – let’s focus on, come on, let’s solve this problem.
How can we get to the bunker? Far from home, when there’re zombies.
Well, forget the bunker, maybe we need to get supplies some other way, get help some other way. Flight and fight, flight and then a bit of fight.
I’m just thinking – what about escaping to a military base? Military have never-ending ammunition.
Maybe that would work. Maybe… But would you be welcome on a military base?
That’s what I’m thinking about, I’m taking zombies to them.
In the films the military are always alive, I suppose that would make sense. And they often are like – are you zombie?
definitely, checking you.
Right. Well, let’s talk about skills. Can you start a fire?
Yeah I can do that, but only with a lighter…
Right. You can’t take two sticks and tap them together?
Yeah well I think something that could be possible is to try to use a reflection from a mirror. I think it’s possible, yeah.
If the sunlight’s strong, yeah.
If it’s strong enough, yeah, sure.
What would happen in the winter?
I don’t know the science but…
What if it happens in the winter?
if it happens in Siberia, yeah, definitely.
By the way, do you keep anything like a matchbox or a lighter in your house?
Thee is a lighter in my house, so yeah, there’s something there. I was left actually. I can light fires, I told you earlier - I have let fires to keep myself warm but I mean, I used fire lighters or sticks.
I used to use a newspaper, I mean, if I were out in the wild, it could be tricky, so I’m gonna say… Let’s say out of five I would give myself a three. Cause I can light a fire, but I need the right tools.
Yeah I think most of the times we can only speculate, right? But in the real situation we can do, you know, we can do better. Opposite.
Hopefully, hopefully. Right. Can you use any weapons? Do you have weapons training?
Yeah, I mean. Did I mention that I went to the military service?
Actually, we were… We didn’t have to use weapons at the military camp and stuff, but just because I went to a national service for a year, I feel myself like yeah, I’m a little superman.
Yeah, the mentality like I can hit people and stuff. Yeah definitely.
He’s got training. Be careful.
So use weapons – no. I think…
They never let you use weapons.
I mean because we’re not really military men or women. We’re just…
Did they teach you hand to hand fighting?
Yeah combat and stuff like that, yeah. It wasn’t like a major thing, but yeah, we got a little bit of that stuff. So yeah, basically, I’ve seen the films and stuff, but I never trained like a professional… Or had a special training.
I haven’t fired a gun, but I have fired a bow and arrow. Not too often, but I have done that a few times.
I’ve done that too sometimes. Yeah, definitely.
I think you’re winning in the weapons training.
Bow and arrow are horrible. Fired weapons, yeah, but they’re not like light fire arms. Light guns for…
Laser guns or something. I’ve done that, I’ve done like simulation, like sniper or shooting. I’ve done that like a simulation training. Not training, just for fun, you know. I’ve done that. But never actually… I guess, you know, different culture. Some cultures might be more into that. But in the UK – not so much.
For us the Nigerians too, definitely.
Are you physically fit? This is important, right?
That’s a very good question, you know. I was coming up the stairs because you know, the lights are off and there’s a technical problem with the elevator, with the lift here. In the buildings I have to go up to the eighth floor where we are right now, and it was a challenge for me.
So I think for now I’m not physically fit. Not now. But in summer – a month ago or something I was really very fit, because I did sport every day, jogging, you know, pushing up. I wasn’t partying, I wasn’t doing anything. I was having a good time and fresh air in the village. Yeah, in Siberia it’s a… but back to the city, city life.
Get back into fitness because zombies are coming.
They might come at any time.
You don’t know, maybe they’re on their way. I mean, I use the stairs every day here, here and at home. But I do sweat a lot, but regardless I think I have some level of fitness. I wouldn’t say I’m an athlete or anything or anything close, but I have some fitness there. So I wouldn’t be the worst, but certainly not the best.
I mean, likewise me. I could say I’m not fit just to my standard. But I have enough energy. All I need to do is to have some sleep and I have enough energy for whatever I need to do.
Here’s the argument – you don’t need to run out, so you don’t need to outrun a zombie. You just need to outrun the other guy, who’s gonna get eaten. First Aid training – do you have that? If someone broke a leg, would you know kinda how to help them?
I had some education in that, because some couple of years ago I did a course in pre-school education. And we had a first aid course, apart from the stuff I’d learn everywhere and stuff like that. But I think I’m not really good at it because I can’t remember a lot of basic things. Yeah, so, I might need a refreshment.
I’ve done it several times over my life. We had a book at home, first aid. I think that I would remember. I think you might remember things in a tricky situation.
I remember elementary things like to wash off, to keep whatever… I think there’s some more, you know, life threatening cases where… I don’t know how to rescue a person.
So maybe our chances aren’t perfect, but we’re gonna win it. We’re not the worst.
Yeah yeah yeah, not the worst, definitely.
What are our skills? What else can we bring?
So we’re in the zombie apocalypse – what skills do we have already? You and I? You know, talk about you individually. What do you have that could help in that scenario?
Well, we talked about fight or flight, right? And, well, it happens that I’m not a pilot, but I’m a driver.
So I’m gonna use my driving skills and I’m gonna crush as much as possible the zombies I could crush and to get out of that situation. So I can drive, I have driving skill, I’m a good driver, so I can… If my tank is gonna be enough for, you know, enough petrol, I can drive as far as possible away from the zombies.
That’s a good skill. So I also drive, or can drive. And another thing – by education I’m a civil engineer so maybe sort of.. If there is a necessity to build…
You can create something.
I can assist in that and advise in that. So maybe that would be it.
Yeah for me actually – I like singing and entertaining, so probably I could just start a concert!
Make people feel more happy.
Not the people, the zombies, come on, man!
Here’s our strategy, I’ve got it. You draw them in with singing, they all come in to one building, right? And a kind of structural engineering background, we’ll plant explosives and we’ll knock out all the columns and let them drop. Well, forget it. It’s a small detail, forget it. Weapons.
I’m gonna use my African voodoo to disappear.
Before you figured that out, you have somehow found yourself, and I somehow found myself in a room trapped with a zombie. What weapon would you want to have? And I’ve given a few options here, let’s see – longsword, katana, pistol, frost ball, baseball bat, automatic rifle, a maze – a big long kind of hammer with spikes.
Sledge hammer, sniper rifle, hand to hand combat or anything else you could think of.
Anything else – probably I should have this kind of automatic rifle that’s gonna be spilling out acids or fire.
But will that stop them? Big question.
Yeah I think a flame thrower is better than the acid.
A big scythe, to cut them from a distance.
Yeah but I think is just gonna, you know, literally blow them completely, so that’s why I think…
It could be a risk for you though.
Yeah but fire, I think a fire thrower will be just… I mean I have no major risk.
I would just go with an old fashioned baseball bat. I don’t like blades, although they’re zombies.
You do love hitting? Hitting, hitting, hitting!
I don’t know. Maybe if I do want to play it safe, a snipe rifle. Get good of that. Or maybe an automatic rifle. You don’t have to get so close to them, but I’m..
Well maybe I would get used to that kind of thing, I mean I’ve not fired a gun, so… And I have fired bow and arrow, but I think a sniper rifle would be more effective.
Yeah yeah yeah sure, because you need to pull a bow all the time…
And you need to find your arrows and stuff. But I think baseball bat cause it wouldn’t run out. Hopefully won’t break.
And you don’t have to be so close, but you do have to be close. And it would be, I don’t know.. I mean that would be my choice, but maybe I would grow into other weapons.
I think it’s not a bad idea actually. Zombies don’t have skills of dodging you or trying to get away from you.
Yeah, they’re just trying to come for you… So you can just keep wiping their heads off with a bat.
Hopefully. So we touched on it a little bit. Should we go on? Where would you go to take refuge? In the event of a zombie apocalypse?
I think it’s gonna be some forest where there’s a lot of everything, yeah, definitely. Yeah I would’ve said in Russia, but what about when it’s winter? So it should be somewhere in Nigeria, I don’t know.
Some deep forest, some caves and stuff. So I can build some traps around. The whole place in case zombies come discover me and us, you know.
What if you trap a person in your traps?
Well well well, that’s a big question, definitely.
Put up signs – zombies can’t read.
Yeah yeah yeah, why not? But people are so desperate trying to get away from zombies, so they’re not gonna see that either.
Well maybe, yeah. But I mean how can you assume you’re gonna be in Nigeria? That can be tricky. So if it happens in Siberia in the winter, the zombies are gonna probably die, huh?
Yeah, they shouldn’t survive.
So we should just stay inside. Just stay inside.
Just lock the door. No problem, we solved it. Easy peasy, guys!
Yeah but windows and stuff need a proof. Metal, real proof. Because you..
Put them up and stuff, yeah.
Cause it’s easy to break in, yeah.
So I had a few options. Airport, stay at home, top of a building, mountain, bunker, countryside, a shopping centre, a bank, a metro. I think all of them are legitimate options, but I think I would probably try to get out of the city because, well, more people, therefore probably more zombies.
So I’d probably try to go somewhere more isolated. But not somewhere where… You know, somewhere where you can sort of… flatland where you can see people coming, where you can see a zombie coming.
So maybe somewhere a little bit more isolated. Could be better in that event, just for this flight and survive. The Gobi desert, I should go to the Gobi desert.
I would teleport there with my voodoo.
Yeah. Well we were talking about – so the zombie apocalypse where we can just use our voodoo for everything. Guys! Be calm!
Would you travel at night? And how would you choose to travel?
I would be scared to death.
I think… Well, I thought a little bit about this. If you’re in the city and you’re trying to get out, I’m thinking in the city when I want to get out, I’ve got my baseball bat in the city. But I wanna go to maybe a small place, somewhere more isolated.
And of course I need to get food on the way. I need to get food, I need to get supplies, I need to make sure that, you know, I can survive in the future. So I would say yes night time travel.
To get out of the city, cause you’ve got so many zombies and I’m assuming they could see, you know, as well as a human, so I’m thinking – go in night time so you can get out of the city, so that they don’t see you. And then when you get out of the city maybe travel during the day.
So you’re less at risk. Maybe that would work. Yeah, so.
Yeah for me I’d be so scared, it’s dark and stuff like that! I might start thinking that something’s out there, more than zombies.
Your imagination will take over.
How would you choose to travel?
This is a tricky one, but if I don’t have any…
Just the car. If I don’t have anything like… Yeah, I think the car.
Any option. If I say to you I have the power to give you anything, what would you choose?
I suppose someone would probably say helicopter or a jumble jet.
Yeah it should be something you can fly up.
Yeah definitely, but not a helicopter. I don’t trust helicopters.
They always get attacked in zombie films.
That’s when you know you’re real.
Apart from… Probably a military helicopter or a fighter jet would be good.
Nothing too many zombies would touch.
Yeah when I’m leaving the danger zone at least I can say proper goodbye to them. Guys, goodbye!
I have thought tank, but I rethought my strategy thinking about the possibility of flight.
Yeah thank you, that would be fun!
Yeah, although it wouldn’t be most comfortable I’m sure. And you would need maybe help firing it if you had to fire. But they wouldn’t find it so easy to get in and out.
Hopefully the bones of the zombies won’t get stuck in your wheel or whatever it is in the tanks. You couldn’t lose…
I also thought about horse.
Cause you don’t have to fuel it. Well, you don’t have to fuel it with diesel. Of course you have to feed the horse, but you wouldn’t have to fill it up with diesel, so maybe it would be more practical long-term, like, I mean, helicopter fighter jet would be great, but where do you get the petrol and the fuel?
Yeah you have to land somewhere.
Maybe short-term and then you need maybe something long-term. Horse – here’s me, with my baseball bat, on a horse. Or maybe a bow and arrow as well, running around on a horse.
I can just… Now I get the picture and it looks fascinating. Well just for how long are you gonna keep riding and smashing and everything? You need the water, you need diesel and all that. So I think my final strategy would be to find somewhere very far away, maybe some island.
Yeah, no zombies can get around me. And I’m gonna be water surrounded. So I’m just gonna be near the water and if they come in, I don’t need to smash them, I’ll just push them with my leg, back to the water, back to the water, back to the water.
We stick, we stick and poke them. Okay, Michael. Imagine your best mate has been bitten by a zombie. He hasn’t changed, but it isn’t gonna take long. What would you do?
No, really, I wouldn’t take any chance, sure.
Unfortunately I can’t take any chance. And I can imagine the situation where I’m not the only one, so the other people and… So one person could just… It’s gonna be something for me too – if I get bitten, so…
You can kinda make a pact beforehand. Just finish me off if it happens. Right. Okay, so we’re in the zombie apocalypse. Imagine you have become the leader of a big group. What would be your goals? What’s your plan?
So you’ve got… So you’re not alone and not just with a small group, but you’re a large group. And it’s time to do something. Or not do something. So what would be your plans, your goals with that group?
Yeah, we need to make some rules. Like the rules of eliminating anybody that’s got bitten by the zombie.
Yeah yeah definitely. So everyone needs to agree on that. There should be no sentiments, we should all help each other. Basically as a leader, which is kinda agreeing to make some rules which everybody should follow. But our main goal will to be just alive and be together.
Are you not gonna try and take the zombies on?
No, we’re just gonna defend ourselves basically and try to get away.
Yeah we’re gonna be flighting, definitely. If we eventually do have the chance to finish them off, probably we’re gonna find these huge catch of ammunition somewhere and we know we can just dig or entrap them in some kinda stuff and block the whole place, yeah, then we’re gonna do that.
In your fighter jet? Okay, you get some fuel for your fighter jet.
We’re gonna do that, but…
But any other – we’re just gonna be running away, looking for the best place to survive.
So if I were in that situation I guess I would try to reduce the amount of zombies, keep an area safe and maybe do some good old tactics to kinda pick away on them. Cause ideally you wanna reduce the number.
So that will help to reduce the infection. The spread of this.
But these guys never die, so…
Well, it depends what you watch I guess. Is this disease curable? It’s a part of zombie apocalypse. Is this a curable one? Cause sometimes they are, right?
Well I mean for me.. My first thinking, my first imagination, my first reaction to that is like no, it’s not curable, so. Because vaccines are not for everybody. Even though they exist in, you know, some kind of very secret labs somewhere and stuff like that, so it’s almost like it doesn’t exist.
And people don’t have time to make it.
Yeah, to get there, you need to find it, you need to load it, you need to mix everything and all that.
So I would be hoping that there’s someone, some people, not just one person, but some people who could figure out something long-term. And I hope that our big group would survive. But hopefully. So yeah, that’s our zombie apocalypse, and that was the craic about our zombie apocalypse.
So guys, we talked all about it. We covered our strategy, we talked first about what we’d seen regarding zombies. Michael’s not so keen on that, so now you know more about him. We talked about fight or flight.
Talked about a bunker or not, our skills, how we would travel, transport. Whether at night or not. Some of our long term goals that we might have. So guys, that was the craic about our zombie apocalypse.
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